"SO IT'S ALL COME DOWN TO THIS"!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Grateful

I am grateful for my jobs. Ü

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Oh Fall...why did you have to come so fast?

Well Fall has arrived. It's crazy how time has flown. It just seemed like I was planting my flowers yesterday and getting ready for summer and now it's officially over. Fall brings a new chapter in my life and I love the sense of renewal.

As this time of year approaches, I am reminded of a poem that my grandmother sent me on my mission, which is called "The Seasons of My Soul" by Helen Steiner Rice. This poem depicted how I felt at that time in my life, and it has always stuck with me. For some reason, my grandmother knew exactly when to send me that letter because it truly helped me in one of my most trying times on my mission. I love it because that particular letter means so much to me. Take a read:

The Seasons Of My Soul by: Helen Steiner Rice

Why am I cast down
And despondently sad
When I long to be happy
And joyous and glad?

Why is my heart heavy
With unfathomable weight
As I try to escape
This soul-saddened state?

I ask myself often ...
"What makes life this way,
Why is the song silenced
In the heart that was gay?"

And then, with God's help
It all becomes clear,
The "Soul" has its "Seasons"
Just the same as the year.

I, too, must pass through
Life's autumn of dying,
A desolate period
Of heart-hurt and crying.

Followed by winter
In whose frostbitten hand
My heart is as frozen
As the snow-covered land.

Yes, man too must pass
Through the seasons God sends,
Content in the knowledge
That everything ends.

And, Oh! What a blessing
To know there are reasons
And to find that our soul
Must, too, have it's seasons.

"Bounteous Seasons"
And "Barren Ones," too.
Times for rejoicing
And times to be blue.

But meeting these seasons
Of dark desolation
With strength that
is born Of anticipation

That comes from knowing
That "autumn-time sadness"
Will surely be followed by a
"Springtime of Gladness."


How I love this poem.

I have always loved the fall. And even though this poem gives a feeling that autumn is a time of sadness..I feel the opposite. The clean, crisp air makes me happy. I absolutely love leaving the windows open at night and feeling that chill; pulling out the blankets and snuggling in bed. I love putting away my summer clothes and pulling out my fall sweaters. I know, I know, that we are still in the mid 80's and I shouldn't get ahead of myself, but I feel excitment as the season is changing.

Life has been pretty busy lately, but what's new? I have started teaching more and my studio is up to 5 students. :) Hopefuly in the next couple of weeks I will be adding three more to the bunch. :) My goal is to obtain 10 students and cap there. We'll see what the future brings. However, I am very grateful that I have the opportunity to teach all my students and find it a privilege and honor to be a part of their lives.

Lately, we (Melo and I) have been anxiously awaiting to hear some great news, as in a job offer for Melo. He has put it out to the universe, and I am in full belief that he will find something very, very soon. I am keeping my fingers crossed and have a continual prayer in my heart that he may find work and get the opportunity to do what he has always dreamnt of. Dreams do come true, don't ya know? As soon as I hear word, you'll be the first to know.

Last weekend we had alot of fun, as my Mom and Dad hosted the "last" cookout with the whole family. We had so much yummy food and just visited. The evening was sublime. We played a little croquet and I loved catching up with my siblings. I truly miss all of them. I know we are all so busy, but I know I need to make them a priority in my life. Hopefully I can work on it more. We also attended the State Fair and the Carmelite Fair and it was a fantastic weekend.

Melo has also been such a busy bee lately. He actually has been putting together a 72-hour kit for us, just in case of an emergency. He has taken all the initiative and it has been so cool to see him be so organized. He is getting us so prepared and his concern for us has been such a blessing to me. Without him, I truly wouldn't know what I would do. Although, he sometimes gets on my nerves, he truly is "mi media naranja". I'm truly grateful for him and all that he does for me and I appreciate his true patience with me.

As we are approaching the season of gratefulness; my goal is to write down one thing that I am grateful for each day until the end of the year. I am in hopes that I can truly find what is important to me and to full heartedly be grateful for all that I have. So here goes my first one:

I am grateful for Melo, because he always makes me the best meals ever, and never complains.

Well until next time. :)

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Life

As you can tell I've been contemplating on life. What is life about? Truly, what is MY life about? Is it all about working 13 hours a day, coming home, going to bed, and waking up to do the same ole' thing again? Is it to friviously buy things to make me happy for a fleeting moment? Is there more to life? I know there's family, friends, loved ones that enrich ones life, but I'm just talking about my purpose. I think there's so much more than truly meets the eye.

Recently I lost a close friend of mine. I haven't wanted to write about anything because it was just not the right time and I still have things that I'm working through, but I figured that writing some thoughts down might be one of the first steps to healing.

I think about my friend and her life and what she had accomplished. I think about how when we would talk, even though many months would pass since we had last spoken, every time we got a minute to talk, it was like I had just hung up with her and we were just picking up from our last conversation. She was so fun to talk to. She would laugh at my stupid jokes and some of my funny situations in life. She never thought my stories were dumb, she was just there to make me feel happy. She truly made me feel special. She would always boost me up and make me feel like I truly could do anything. I would tell her my hopes, my dreams, my insecurities, my fears and she would always come back with, "Amy you are amazing!" I felt that when she went through some troubling times that I was there for her. We would talk for hours and I was always amazed with her strength and positiveness and the trust she had in herself in making her decision in life. She could see the good in anything. Even though she was sick, she would see the positiveness of life. I remember when she told me she might have to use a wheelchair, since she was getting weak and falling. She ended up trying to exercise as much as her body would allow to try and get her strength back. With all her hard work she ended up not having to use the wheelchair and when her doctor said she only would have to use a cane, how much happier she was with that option, because she would still be mobile. She had seen some pretty dark days and I remember talking to her about her life. She knew she had to change, she knew she had bigger and better things to do. She never ever gave up. She was always trying to improve her life, either with classes at the University or wanting to try new business adventures, she always had something new up her sleeve. I was always so proud and envious of her in her ways of just "doing" something new with no fear. She was fearless.

I just want to call her and talk to her. I feel awful that I didn't get a chance to talk to her before she passed. I tried calling her a few times within the last month or so before her passing, but I never heard from her. Her husband said she was going to call me but he said, she just didn't get around to it. Either way it made me feel good that she had the intention. But I still wish I could have spoken with her, just one last time. You know? I miss her a lot.

Upon going to her funeral, I have come to the understanding of what selflessness means. I won't go into details, but I saw a woman who accepted life as it was and tried to do the best she could with what she had. She accepted, not so ideal, situations in her life and still loved her life and loved unconditionally. I will never quite understand some of her choices, but I loved her unconditionally and always stood by her decisions no matter what. I loved her, she was like my sister. And you know, things always worked out in one way or another for her.

I came to find that she had a talent in making jewelry. I had received some from her in December for Christmas but thought that it was maybe store bought. It was cool when I found, in her room, all the makings for her jewelry. It meant so much more to me, knowing she had made mine. Her husband also gave me another bracelet that she made and I adore it.

My point in writing this blog is that life is short but it is a precious, precious gift. Life needs to be lived. Life can hand us some unappealing circumstances, but we need to see the best in everything. Life is hard and can feel overbearing at times, but I find comfort that I know there is someone larger, someone more powerful that is watching over me, and I take comfort in that knowledge, wherein I can find peace.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Disorganized? Well then organize and then reorganize....UGH!

Well this explains my last month. I keep telling myself that I am disorganized, therefore I try to organize and then to my realization, I have to reorganize. Why the viscious cycle? Not only am I trying to organize my home, but I really need to start re-organizing my life. Ü I get so caught up in working, trying to fill every existing minute with something productive that when I find time to myself, I feel guilty. It's crazy. So I decided to make some changes. Little by little, right?

I guess what I have to do is change my mindset. So here it goes...I was doing some reading this evening and this is what I found:

"Want what you have. We cram our spaces and schedules with more and more, yet we still aren't content. Just clearing the decks isn't enough. You have to be clear on what your values are and what you truly want."

Pay attention to your limitations. "We tend to overestimate what we can do and underestimate the amount of time it takes to do it."

Take time to recharge. Take one day off per week. "Practice the three 'R's of life organization: rest, relax and renew." "Stop filling every second of your life with activity. Don't hide behind the excuse of overload — commit to make room on a daily basis for the things that matter most."

After all, isn't that the reason you were getting organized in the first place?"

This was such a perfect read. The trick is to try and follow the advice...wish me luck!

Monday, May 24, 2010

And Another Year Has Passed...

Well, this past week I celebrated the big "38"! I can't believe it. Where does the time go? When I got home at 12:45 a.m. on Thursday morning, Melo surprised me with an I-Pod Touch. I was so excited, but upon opening it, I had no idea what it was, so I had to google it. He thought that was pretty funny. I am so excited to have received it as a gift. He is too good to me. I love him so much and am so grateful for him in my life! HE just gets me and he takes such good care of me. :) We celebrated with what time we had as he was going out of town the next morning. Upon waking up he had flowers waiting for me. They were beautiful! So I proceeded to take him to catch his ride to leave and he told me to go get a pedicure and a manicure. So I jetted off and it was heaven! Again...he is just the best!

Since my nephew and I share the same b-day, my sister made it our day as she proceeded to spoil us all day with suprises! First we went to my other sister's work and ate lunch at the "Hard Times Cafe". She works for the Utah Department of Corrections, and onsite, the prisoners that are on FastTrack and those that are studying culinary arts, work in this cafe. IT was delicious! We enjoyed spending time together and it was fun to see where my sister works, she even bought us all lunch! She is too great! We had brownies at her office and just caught up. It was a lot of fun!

We then proceeded to Ogden, as my sister surprised us both with a session at iFLY. iFLY you say? What is that? IFLY My sister took us up there, I was so nervous! I proceeded to watch the 5 minute video and was freaked out! :) Then I had to go gear up. I was starting to feel like I couldn't breath and here my nephew was all excited ready to go! I had to be brave. He went first...he loved it! He had a little delay as he got a bloody nose because the air was so dry, but jumped right back in. Then it was my turn! I was so hesitant that it took my about 2 times to finally have the nerves to just fall in. After all the worry, I have to admit it was a lot of fun and felt pretty cool. I would like to try it again soon. I hopefully can attach the video soon! However, after I was so stiff! The wind is strong and it pulled my arms back so far that I am still sore today! :) Just gettin' old, I know.

After we went to dinner and had pie at my sis's house. It was a great day!

The next day...I went to go meet Melo up in Logan! What a lovely drive! We stayed at the Beaver Creek Lodge It was so beautiful. We ended up being the only ones there that evening. It was just beautiful. We went to Bear Lake and had dinner at a really cute restaurant and just drove around. It actually started to rain...so we decided to jet back to the lodge. Upon our drive back, it started SNOWING! I couldn't believe it. We got back to the lodge safely, after much anxiety, but we made it! We just lounged around and hit the hay...the next morning we had such a beautiful sight! The mountains were covered with snow and it was absolutely gorgeous! We went to grab breakfast and just enjoyed the view from the parlor. It was great! We then drove back into Bear Lake and drove to Idaho to get lotto tickets and grabbed a quick raspberry shake! We then went to the docks and it was freezing but we just had to see the water. After, we started our decent to Logan. Upon arrival to Logan we stopped for lunch and jetted back home. It was a great drive! I didn't want to come home, but we were both beat! But I have to tell you it was the best birthday weekend ever! I'll never forget it! Ü

Thursday, April 22, 2010

April Showers

Well this last week has been somewhat eventful, although I can't remember what I did last weekend. :) So after phoning up Melo to see what we did, I guess I can continue. Oh yeah, how could I forget, we tried the Dine-O-Round downtown. We went to this great little tapa restaurant called Eva's. It wasn't that bad. I actually had no food allergies to any of the food and felt pretty good. I get sick from time to time when I eat out, so I am usually pretty cautious about trying new places, but like I said, it wasn't that bad. Prices were pretty good as well. We had a little excitement when we got there as a woman passed out and her date/boyfriend/husband, just picked her up and ran her out of the restaurant and yelled...call 911! He then proceeded to lay her on the ground to the side of the restaurant out front and that was that. It was pretty strange. After, we drove around for a little bit and then jetted home.

Over the weekend, Melo went up to Park City to celebrate one of his friend's birthday. I was so tired, I just laid around that night and ordered a pizza. Nothing like a pig out. :)

Sunday, we met up with our friends to celebrate birthdays. Gabi's was on the 12th and Scotty's was on the 17. So we met up at SL Pizza and Pasta for their brunch and enjoyed just catching up with Bob and Nancy and Cristina and the kids. It was a fun time. Later that day we went over to Belen's house to have the "first" bbq. I absolutely love the smell of bbqs and couldn't get enough of it that evening. The weather was perfect and it was so relaxing. I was very excited for Belen's potato salad, as it is the best! We enjoyed catching up and it was a great intro to the new week.

I finally went in for my endoscopy this week. Boy oh boy...am I getting old. They will have my test results back in the next 10 days, so it's just the waiting game. :) They had to dilate my esophagus, which I think I will never do again, but they found some strictures (scar tissue) and since I tend to get food stuck in my throat, they decided to do the "procedure". Not a big deal, but it felt like someone had dislocated my chest bone. It normally takes 24-48 hours to be okay, some people they are okay right away, but for me...I'm barely finding relief as of today. I had a sore throat for 2 days and if I lean in a certain way, I still have a little bit of pain, but what can ya' do? Just wait it out. On Wednesday I thought I might have to go to emergency as the pain was getting a little worse. But with a heating pad and some warm tea and my prescription, I was doing okay. Just needed a little extra rest I guess.

So this week has been a lazy week. I have so many things to do, but I just needed to stay down. I'm glad I'm feeling back to normal. Acid reflux sucks!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

One Day At A Time

I have been meaning to update my blog and try to make a habit of saying at least Hi each day. Ü  A alot has happened in the past year or so, but I will remain in the present as that is my new mantra!

take a read if you get a chance at :
http://www.oprah.com/spirt/The-Art-of-Living-in-the-Present-Josh-Baran/

I'm going to try my hardest and stay focused and be present in the present! :) [this was a posting that I found a draft to, and just barely posted it today...it was from March 2010]